"Why": Behind Taylor Lamborn's upcoming release
This project has been brewing since 2012 when I walked in to record my first album completely overwhelmed and feeling wildly underprepared. I’m sure many green songwriters can relate to the jarring moment they hand over their songs and set down their instruments and let someone else take over. Many of us are lyricists before we are musicians, and we understand the cadence and flow of words before we can translate rhythm and melody to our fingers. As a young artist, I allowed the disconnect between what I hear in my head and what I can articulate in a technical space evolve into a deeply rooted insecurity. Even as I steadily improved my skills and knowledge, I felt that I was and would always be a “non-musician.” I’ve spent my career thus far consciously surrounding myself by the opposite, the most skilled and talented people I could find. Many times over, I willfully handed over creative control to others because I didn’t trust my own voice. In the studio and in the hands of talented seasoned musicians, I had the privilege of watching my songs become new, and big, and vibrant. It is thrilling. Yet night after night, year after year, the same songs continued to live entirely differently on my humble untrained fingers. In many ways, when the thrill of the recording experience wore off, the new vibrant takes on these songs often felt like a misrepresentation.
I’ve spent years actively trying to shed insecurities. The process of regaining creative control and beginning to trust myself has also been one of discovering my own worth. Something which I don’t know if I’ve ever had a firm grip on.
What's wild is that the same young woman riddled by self-doubt in every studio session, would never hesitate to take the stage and perform with her guitar and voice. Be it in a farmhouse in Southern France to a room of 3 or a festival stage in Costa Rica in front of 1,000 people. I’ve always fallen into my songs, connected with the audience, and fearlessly played solo acoustic sets all over the world. It is in those moments that I have always felt the most authentic. I own every second and mistake.
Many times over I’ve fantasized about capturing those performances. Many times over I’ve spoken about how I was going to do it. And finally, here is my followthrough.
This pandemic forced me to rediscover my voice. I’ve spent time (as many have) exploring who I am and what I want. I’ve critically examined not only my role as a musician, but also music’s role in my life. This project was created to honor the last 10 years of my career, and shed many of these old songs in the way that felt most natural: live and acoustic. It’s meant to allow space in my mind for more growth, more collaboration, and a deeper sense of confidence in myself as I am: flawed and learning and growing.
I’m no longer putting off or mumbling about maybe doing this whole thing. I did it, a LIVE album. This work is meant to represent what people experienced at my live acoustic shows. No padding, no edits, raw and imperfect. It is a mere snapshot of who I was over the course of one weekend in mid-September 2021. It includes songs I’ve played maybe thousands of times, and many I’ve hardly touched in years. In some ways, it feels like my first album. In all of its vulnerability, it is a strong intentional pivot. I'm taking ownership of myself, I’m releasing material that has felt like a weight. It's scary and imperfect, and even if this is the last thing I ever release, it is the first thing that feels wholly me.
So please allow me to reintroduce myself to you over the next few months. I'm excited for the opportunity to share who I am, who I’ve been, and who I want to become with whatever part of this great void is curious enough to follow along.
Many more thank you's are to come, but this project would not have been possible without the support of Cat Richards & Heather Hays.
Tuck Mindrum- Recorded and Mixed
Bobby Daggett- Video
Sun Room Audio - Master